We’ve all got that one friend who, despite being a wonderful person, is always on the lookout for love.
It’s frustrating to watch because you know there’s someone out there who deserves them, if only they could find them.
If you’re unhappy about the situation, imagine how they feel about it all.
In these desperate Tinder times, chances are your friend could use some encouragement and possibly some outside assistance in finding someone decent. That’s where you come into play. Humans appear to have a natural penchant for matchmaking. Perhaps it’s an altruistic desire for our friends to be happy; maybe it’s an opportunity for a little indirect thrill-seeking if we’re in a relationship, or perhaps we all just enjoy a good old meddle. Whatever your reasons, if you have a friend who is looking for love, they could use your assistance, especially if they have been out of the dating game for a long time and are nervous about taking the plunge.
This article shares solid tips for becoming the best wing-person for your best friend below.
Getting Started
If matchmaking sounds like something you’d be interested in, tell your friends about it. Surely, some of them will be able to add to your list of single people. Maintain contact with those you hope to match with. Perhaps someone is relocating to a larger city where you know more people. Allow them some time to settle in before checking in. Then, ask them directly if they are willing to be set up. Consider how natural and time-honored this is. (Yes, it is! Open a novel written before the Internet and be convinced of the normalcy of friends assisting friends in finding love.)
Determine how willing they are to drive or take a train if the game is in another city or two. Then, ask the following types of questions to help you make an educated match: “Would you describe yourself as introverted or extroverted?” “Would you rather be with one or the other?” “Which do you value more: sharp wit or sweetness?” Physical attractiveness is also essential. Make sure to determine whether that is a high or low priority for either one. When casting a play, you can sometimes tell if two people will get along just by looking at them together. Use your imagination; it comes in handy.
Choose the Right Partner
So your pal has agreed to join you. However, you should not set up two people simply because they are both single. Consider their sense of humor, relationship goals, and professional status. Someone who is not career-driven may not be a good match if they are. If they wish to remarry, a newly divorced man playing the field is not the right match. While you cannot predict the chemistry between two people, the only real question for you is, ‘Would this person like this person?’ Even if there are no romantic sparks, they may enjoy each other as friends.
Evaluate the Date
After the event, ask each party to share their thoughts on the experience. However, don’t feel obligated to provide feedback. You could consider your work done the moment they meet in the café. However, if either person wants a more in-depth matchmaking experience, you’ll want to conduct some analysis of what went well and what could have gone better.
Keep Your Expectations in Check
Do you have visions of the speech you’ll deliver at their wedding? Keep it in check. Expressing excitement puts them under undue stress. Don’t say things like, “I know you’ll love each other,” or “Isn’t he amazing?” after they’ve met. They’re meeting because they might like each other, not because they want to please you. Instead, “Meet and see what happens,” you can say, and then follow up with questions like, “What did you think of him?”
Listening is More Important than Giving Advice
Your advice is probably well-intended, but most single people just want someone to listen to them rant.
Don’t give your friend tired advice they’ve heard a million times before, such as “There is plenty of fish in the sea” or “You’re a great person, so just be yourself!” Also, don’t assume that whatever you did to meet your significant other will work for them; falling in love isn’t a set formula. We all follow our paths.
Even if your advice is well-intended, what your friend needs are for you to listen. In general, it’s advisable avoiding unsolicited advice and canned platitudes, which can make your friend feel frustrated and invalidated. Instead, concentrate on listening and empathizing; offer solutions and feedback only when specifically requested.
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Conclusion
Dating is work. Make sure that your friend is looking after their physical and mental health. A person who has reasonable emotional control or healthily expresses their emotions is the first thing to look out for. One who feels good in their own body will carry themselves with dignity and project positivity in a way that attracts others of healthy and sound mind. That is how you find genuine and long-lasting love. Counteract any negative self-talk that your friend may be having by reminding them that they are lovely just the way they are. Remind them that no one person can define their worth. They’re incredible, exciting, and complete on their own.